The Eyes Of A Spectator

My friend Amanda broke her bone in her leg, and she's going through a lot. I'm trying to be there when I can, but there isn't much I can do really.

I visited her on Sunday, and we had some fun I guess, considering what she was going through. Watched some shows on TV, played chess, made gossip, talked, whatnot.

The weather was absolutely fantastic around 6ish, it was really amazing. There was so much mist everywhere, and the wind made it exhilarating to walk in.

She won't be able to do much for a while, but I'll be there if she does need anything.

On another note, my sim card holder for the iPhone came in, but I don't have the proper plan nor sim card to use it. Here's hoping to an extra 30 bucks a month that probably won't come.

This past weekend was really OK. On Saturday I saw my friend Gabrielle, who is a really cool person. I think she's great and we should definitely do more things together, but it will really be hard for her, since she lives in New Jersey and goes to Yale.

When we saw each other, we did a lot of different random things. We walked a lot, at least maybe 10-15 miles the whole day. We went from 6th avenue on the west side all the way to 1st avenue on the east side, then walked 15 blocks up to central park, then ate around there. We talked about a lot of random and interesting stuff. Then we saw a movie called The Reader, which was really amazing.

We saw it at this very old school theatre called Paris. It was really great. The theatre only shows one movie at a time, for weeks at a time, then switches to a different movie. It was really good.

Then we just walked all the way to the village, and ate at this really awesome place called Creperia, which is a desert type of place that serves crepes with ice cream and other awesome stuff.

Then we just continued walking around and talking, and said our goodbyes.

All in all, the whole day was great.

I'd say it's one of the greatest meet-ups I've had with someone in a very long time.

Yesterday my friends Amanda, Meaghan, Zach, and Phil all were supposed to go to this ice cream place Ralph's. More people ended up coming, which isn't a bad thing, but one acquaintance Jimmy, came, and that was the determining factor of the day.

This guy is really an asshole, I usually don't tend to say bad things about anybody, but Jimmy is really an exception. Honestly, I don't know how anyone puts up with him. He's completely racist to everyone, and just points out flaws in almost everything. He's also just negative in almost all aspects.

He doesn't even know his parents birthdays, and doesn't get anything for them on their birthdays. I kind of pity him, but he doesn't deserve to be pitied, because he does it all willingly.

Nobody there really wanted him there, I felt bad about that, but I do understand. If it's anything I hate, it's wanting someone to go away, because no matter how bad of a person they may be, I still feel bad for them.

Besides the point, my friend Amanda ended up falling off of a tree and breaking her ankle bone.

We all really felt bad I'm sure about that. I would have gone to the hospital with her, but I didn't really have a way of getting there, so I just called later on to see how she was doing, I hope she'll be ok.

Best of luck Amanda.

So my father agreed to get me a drum set, but it's my grandmother that has a problem with it.

She doesn't want to hear any noise when I'm playing it, and thinks that it will annoy the people upstairs. The simple reasoning behind this is; the only time anyone is home upstairs is when it's nighttime. I could put it in the basement anyway, or get an electronic set maybe.

Probably not, but I still really want a drum set.

So far, just getting a lot of albums and listening to a bunch of new music isn't all there is to opening your mind up to the musical world.

As some of my friends know, I want a drum set real bad. Not only that, I want to open up my creative mind and get a whole set of various musical instruments.

So far I have a guitar, my precious whistling capabilities, and a bass, which I don't play that much. I would love to continue on to the most basic of instruments, like a keyboard, drums, maybe even violin, flute, anything that looks fun to play with.

Hey, I'm 19 and I've got a whole lot of time ahead of me, so why not use that time to master some instruments and play for the world?

"The world's all a stage, and we are all merely actors and actresses." - Shakespeare

"If music be the language of life, then play on." - Shakespeare

I'm trying to save up for a drum set.

It's proving to be very very difficult. Since I don't have a job and all, I don't really have that much of an income. The only time I get money is maybe 5 dollars once maybe every week or two.

I had around 47 dollars just a couple days ago. Now with the trip to go see my mother, I had to pay 10 dollars for going over the bridge and paying the toll, and 5 dollars for getting my glasses straightened.

Now I'm left with 25 dollars, because I have to eat outside too.

Blegh, there's so many things I want to save for, so I'm trying not to eat outside anymore. But the issue is, whenever I'm outside and not anywhere near my house, I can't just leave my friends and say "I don't have any money, I have to go home and eat and come back."

I also hate when my friends want to pay for me, because then I feel selfish and just so poor and that makes me feel like crap. I hate borrowing money too, because that means whenever I do get money, I have to pay it back whenever I receive money.

Oh well, at least I have my imagination and creativity to drum in my mind.

I've been sooo tired these past couple of weeks. I seem to be getting enough sleep, around 8 hours, but I just fall asleep on the bus or sometimes nod off in class.

My friend told me, it could be because of sadness, or another reason could be because of not getting sleep properly.

Something about turning around and flipping too much on the bed. Apparently if that happens, you're not getting a good nights sleep.

Eh whatever.

On other news, my physical education class just ended, which kind of sucks, but not really. I hate working out, but I love the exercises we do, like running up stairs, jump ropes, stretching out, push ups and squats and whatnot. I'll miss that coach, he was great.

Aroo Diverchi.

Things that I want, but don't mind not having, because I'm only human, and these aren't necessities.

1. Repair my iPhone 3G.
2. iPhone 3G as my phone.
3. LCDHDTV in my room.
4. Playstation 3.
5. Wii.
6. Damn weather to warm up already so I can do my parkour.
7. A very nice point and shoot camera.
8. Macbook Pro.
9. Drumset.
10. Nice keyboard.
11. Paint my walls.
12. New guitar, acoustic or electric, preferably acoustic.
13. A small couch in my room.
14. Money to go on a trip to Turkey this summer.
15. Great sound system, cause I'm an audiophile.
16. 160 GB classic iPod
17. Get bigger, I'm too skinny and thin.
18. Get a haircut.
19. Get a job, a real one.
20. Get good grades.
21. Or at least have the money to pay for the rest of the semesters.
22. Get away with my mother and or father.
23. A better place for my mother, she deserves it.
24. A better place for my father, GOD knows he deserves it, so does everyone.
25. A decent girlfriend. A nice one, who treats me fair, as I treat her.

Now for my wish list, which is literally way beyond in the future.

1. Own a music store
2. Be a great successful thriving one person band or solo artist.
3. Design something amazing, and market the thing.
4. Help a lot of people all at once.
5. Be in top physical shape.
6. Master some type of martial art.
7. Get my family settled for the rest of their life.
8. Paint something amazing.
9. Have the grandest computer that can do anything.
10. Fulfill my music craving and hit at least 100,000 songs.
11. Doctorate in music major.
12. Doctorate in psychology.
13. Doctorate in philosophy.
14. Be remembered.
15. Do something historic and good for the entirety of the world.

Yeah, that's all I can think of for now. I'd hope to accomplish every one of those one day, though I doubt I will, but there's this thing called hope for a reason.

Aw, well, nothing to get sad over I guess, just a TV, although I'd really like one. It doubled as a computer LCD, oh well.

I got a mood ring, and it makes my finger purple, but it's a little big. Doesn't make much sense.

Damn I have a lot of things I need to do.

Smile is one of them.

I just a very good play, The Fantasticks.

It was really funny and well worth it. The entire cast was amazing, and for an off-broadway show it was one of the best I've seen, in my opinion. It's the longest running off-broadway show, and for good reason I'd say.

I might have a new HDLCDTV, yeah, that's an abbreviation if you've ever seen one.

High Definition Liquid Crystal Display Television.

I'd love if it would be mine, but with my luck eh.

Whatever I get, gets snatched right away.

Seems as if this past year has been part of the worst of my life.

I refuse to cry, it's selfish to cry.

Smile.

My friend Tal, whom is an idiot, got into my blogger account and posted that post about me impregnating my ex-girlfriend. I will state the reasons why that post came up, why it did not happen, and will never happen.

1. I'm not an idiot, and will never go unprotected.
2. I'm an idiot, I left myself logged in on my friend's computer.
3. I wouldn't do something like that, and my friends know that, because I'm not an idiot.
4. Mom, it's not true.
5. Dad, it's not true.
6. Friends, it's not true.
7. I only have 2 ex-girlfriends.

In other news, my friend gave me an iphone to fix, and he said if I could fix it I could keep it, since he got another one.

It was a really bad birthday party or day, I don't even know what to call it, but whatever it was, it wasn't all that good.

A bunch of friends and I went over to my friends house for his birthday party, and we basically did nothing there. I ate a lot, played frisbee for maybe 5 minutes, and talked to random people about nothing.

What pissed me off was that, Mike and I wanted to play frisbee or football or something because it was really nice and warm outside, but no one else wanted to do anything. It was really pathetic. They all just sat inside watching Survivor man or some bullshit show, so after that, everyone wanted to go to Dave and Buster's.

When we go there, no one is there and not many people can get in because apparently you had to be 21 years old to get in, which doesn't make any sense. Me, Jenna, Nick, and Mike all got in when I showed them my ID.

So we didn't know what to do, so we just roamed around looking for people, and eventually giving up, because we would call them, and they would be somewhere else complaining about some stupid thing.

So then they call us and tell us to meet them at a specific theater, at a specific time, and we don't even know how to get there, great eh?

We ended up just going to some gyro place and getting food then getting frozen yogurt, and that twas that.

Ah whatever, hopefully I'll do something a bit more productive today.

I'm doing a new experiment involving socialization. I won't say what it is yet, but I'll try to see how long I can go. It's not much of a big deal, and I bet a lot of people won't even notice. But that isn't the point.

Watchmen is coming out tomorrow, and I can't wait to see it.

Random fact of the moment that I randomly know: all bears are left handed.

Make some food.

Live your life.

Listen to some music.

Gossip with people.

Get mail that is unwanted.

Have fun.

You too, have fun.

Just great. My ex-girlfriend just called me with weird news, and I don't know what to do.

Last Wednesday, she asked me to come over. Apparently, she was depressed and needed some comforting. We talked for about half an hour, and it was obvious that she still cared for me. She wanted to be more than friends, but not to have a relationship. I'm a good person, so I tried to help as much as I could. Anyway, one thing led to another, and we had sex. She wants to be sex buddies from now on. Yay me?

Unfortunately, today she called me to say she missed her period. Is this a good or bad thing? I don't know what to do. Help?

Actually, don't bother. I'll be crying in my bed.

I'm at my friends house right now, and as I have learned some pretty big information, it makes me happy to know that, for once I can think about someone elses life rather than my own.

I kind of need a big break from my life. I'm tired of being sad a lot, and I don't ask for it, although I apparently do according to someone.

Oh well, I spent the past couple of days trying to get away from my thoughts, and now I'm growing colder yet again.

Eventually I'm just going to be completely inept at feeling much emotions. I don't want to end up being like that, but it's not such a bad thing because then at least I won't feel shitty all the time.

That sounds very emo and depressing but whatever, it's not meant to come out that way. I think good things will happen to me in the future, I definitely deserve it, but if they don't come, then I can wait, I have a lot of patience.