The Eyes Of A Spectator

Life puts you down alot. This isn't an act of emoness I'm expressing this post, but it's a bit of an outrage. You can ignore this post if you want, or if you want to read or are interested be my guest. The only reason I'm writing this is to either spur the mind of others who read this, bring them up to what happens in real life, or something of that sort. I'm not really sure why I'm publicizing this myself.

As many people know, or if are not informed, life isn't very pleasant to you all the time. I feel like I'm definitely not getting what I deserve, and I know I deserve at least a little something to help me from being sad.

Recently I've started parkour, started college, and having some changes with my family. My mother is moving, which is a BIG change for her, especially since she is an artist, and our entire family isn't doing all that well financially, but I mean, we're still well off.

The thing that bothers me is that my father and mother and I, are all really good people. I mean that sincerely and I'm not saying it to make ourselves look like we are above anyone else, I believe that everyone is equal. But shouldn't good people who do good things get what they deserve?

My mother is an exceptional artist, and is moving to a smaller apartment. My father cannot have fun himself, because he's helping the entire family out by trying to support two families at once, including my mother, and they are divorced. That's something honorable and also something not many people do.

My father helps or at least tries to help everyone, and puts his family ahead in every case before himself. He's probably one of the greatest men in the world, and I don't say that because he's my father. It's because I know him, and he's a very good and noble man.

As for myself, I always find myself helping those in need, and trying to help in anyway I can. I usually do put myself in the way of others in order to help people, and I love having the feeling that I helped someone out, but what do I get in return?

The more I help people, throughout the years, I realize they don't really do much back. I don't know if it's me or if I just feel selfish, but I really want to know why people don't help other people when they are in need.

Honestly, I don't feel awkward saying this at all when I say it, but I am a good person, and I know it. I'm tired of not getting much of the things I want.

Of course on the flip side, I have alot more than other people. I have family, food, shelter, clothing, and that's all great, but I don't feel happy about alot of it. Maybe it's my mind, or maybe I have a disorder, but I just don't feel so happy all the time, and I feel that I should, because of everything I try to do.

I would type more, but I think that's enough. Don't take this as a cry for help, I just felt like getting it out there. I'm sure there are others that feel this way, you aren't alone.