i'm somewhat glad i have a new set of friends. it's like a huge relief to me. they actually call me and ask for me to participate in events and do things with them. they actually respond to everything, whereas my other group of friends hardly pick up their phone, respond back, invite me, or partake anything with me.
it's very frustrating and annoying.
i'm tired of always feeling down because people just don't care about letting me into their sessions of doing anything.
i used to call them all the time, but slowly i've come to realize, if they don't ever call me back, what's the point? what am i getting from them in return? nothing.
let it be.
Yesterday I finally brought my friend Meaghan to the Metropolitan Museum Of Art. I think she really enjoyed it, and it was her first experience at a real museum so she could soak it all in. We looked at a lot of Japanese, Korean, and Chinese art, ranging from the B.C.'s to the 1500's. We also looked at some Hellenistic, Greek, Roman, and Egyptian stuff. The thing she enjoyed the most I think was the modern art and contemporary section.
We didn't spend much time there, but her jaw dropped when she saw all these different type of artistry, I think it did her a lot of good. I hope she goes far, she's a great sketch.
Towards the end of the day, I lost my wallet though. That's the only downside, but it's not much to fret about.
My opinion is that, I lost it, I can try to find it, if I can't then I guess just move on. I think it's pointless to get all frustrated and angry over things like this, especially when you can't do much about them. I'm going to call MTA and see if they found a wallet with my license / school ID in it.
On another note, today I want to see Allaire, and I also want to see Phil. I haven't seen Phil in such a long time, or rather, hung out with him.
Things have been great in my mind for the past couple of days. I've been in a great mood, and have had a very positive outlook on everything, it's great.
All those endorphins are gonna run out eventually though, but I'd like to stay happy.
On another note, drama shouldn't happen so much, I think it's stupid.
Hurray for peacemakers like me.
While I was on the bus to school, I underwent a very weird feeling. As I was sitting down, listening to some Of Montreal, this sudden thought came to me.
I didn't have my cellphone and I didn't really have any other utensils / objects on me besides some books, pencils and pens, clothing, watch, and glasses.
What if I were to get abducted by ALIENS?
I mean, if they had come down and just took the whole bus, we would all be in a horrible position, and I wouldn't even be able to do anything about it.
Then this montage of me being a hero and helping everyone escape came into my mind. Then I thought to myself "...Bijan you really are a psycho why are you thinking of this."
Because I thought about it for like a good 10 minutes, thinking how I would be screwed if Aliens came down and took me, and how many I'd be missing.
Anyway, there was also this incredibly fat woman who had such disgusting habits on the bus. She was smoking as she got on the bus, and just spit it out, and it was wretched. She was carrying two bags and one of them was a taco bell bag, and she was eating it grotesquely, and it was horrible to watch. Then she was making all of these weird faces and judging everyone who passed her like she was so high and mighty.
It angered me.
And I'm a psycho.
I can see it coming, I just have to wait.
Currently, I should be writing some essays, but am not. Currently, I am daydreaming but I should not. Currently, I am falling, but for good reason.
Things are getting better, and I like it a lot. Meaningful hugs and appreciated looks are exactly what I need, and is exactly what I'm getting.
It's amazing what one person can do to your mental health, and in my case, make it better, because I really need it.
I see this lasting.
I see this being happy.
I can't wait till it gets warmer, although yesterday was incredibly beautiful. I spent the day with Allaire, and Mike, and we just walked around, talked, and went out to eat at a Thai restaurant.
I think it was great, except for earlier on, as I was with my mom, and we got into an argument, in which I got frustrated, so left.
I'm really excited to start doing parkour again with some friends possibly, and I want to make my body just that much better.
Warm up, in time.
I'm no longer alone.
It'll last...I hope, I will work for it.
I had the courage, 4/16/09
I wrote something that is amazing in my opinion. It has got to be one of the greatest things that I have written. The funny thing is, I wrote it in like 5 minutes, in my history class, because I was thinking about some things.
It's not necessarily that I'm depressed, because the poem itself is immensely depressing. Along with the poem, I drew a picture, that was inspired by a friend. Putting the poem next to the picture, and reading it, brings along very strong imagery and other emotions.
I think it's good, but that's just me;
The poem goes,
Black hearts
And withering pain
Showers upon me
Like soothing spring rain
With the feeling of warmth
Escaping my wretch brain
Nothing more than darkness
Will keep my mind sane
As I see the truth
In front of my eyes
I sulk down to my feet
And lay in my new disguise
I cannot say to only one person
That you should never feel this way
But know that in this world
At least once
Your heart might go gray.
Happy easter everyone, I hope it will be a good one.
I got essays to write, but screw that, I'm going to go eat a giant huge 6 foot bunny made of chocolate today, at my friend Amanda's house.
I also uploaded a lot of pictures on facebook, and got a bunch of old ones from Mike. I missed a lot of pictures that I forgot about.
I'll post them up some time in the future maybe.
I also got a new camera! Not exactly new, but it was Mike's old camera and he gave it to me. I really wanted one bad, because I know I take some excellent pictures, and I want to go somewhere with photography someday maybe.
I'd say it was an okay day after all. Sadly there were no sports involved, yet again, but I hope that will change as summer starts creeping in on us.
So what I got for Tal as his birthday box? Condoms. He loved that gift, because he really needs them, as he said so himself.
I got Anthony the game of Twister. It was really fun to play with a lot of people. I really like that game. He enjoyed the gift too, I think.
So the day was pretty much, Twister, then we went to the park, took lots of pictures, climbed buildings, then went to see Monsters Vs. Aliens in 3D, which was an alright movie, then we went back to Anthony's house and did nothing and just talked and hung out.
Today I'm either going to Bear Mountain with my dad, or going to the car show, I still don't really know. It all depends on if my dad has work today. If he doesn't, I'd rather go with him, because we haven't been doing much together, and I'd like to spend some time with him, he's almost working all the time.
On top of that, I don't think I have enough money to go to the car show, so I don't know how everything will work out yet.
This band is amazing. Actually, I don't know about the band itself, but I started listening to this album about 10 minutes go.
This album is phenomenal! I can't believe I haven't come across anything like this before.
If you want to know what my music taste is like, go to my last.fm site, it shows every single song I've ever listened to for quite a while. It's great.
This album entitled, The Best Party Ever, sure seems like it's going on my favorite album list.
It's really cheery, up-to-date, the lyrics are great, and beat is amazing, and it's so damn catchy.
I've never quite liked an album like this before, that is my post of the day.
I have a spring break this entire week, and not really much to do with it.
My friends don't have off till next week, but regardless, I'll be able to spend some time with them, hopefully anyway.
I plan to go to either ICON [International Convention of Nerds], or the car show at J Center in New York City.
Don't have much else to say really.
Random interesting thing on my mind: Currently, it costs more money to create pennies, then the actual worth of a penny, and is why they want to stop producing them.
I don't feel right with myself, again.
But this time it's a different type of feeling.
My friend Jenna had her eyebrow pierced, and now I can't stand it. I have this huge phobia of piercings, and I just get so irked when I see one, they terrify me, and I just don't understand why people would cut into their bodies to put a piece of metal in it. It doesn't make sense to me.
Some girls I know don't have piercings and I really appreciate that a lot. I don't know, I just see it this way.
So now I can't stand near her or even look at her face, and it's almost a determining factor of even being with her at all. I was at my friends house yesterday, and when I heard she was coming, I couldn't really handle it. When she walked inside, I had to go all the way to the opposite side of the room.
I felt so useless, I was just sitting there doing nothing, not even conversing, and everyone else was just talking about anything.
Blegh, I can't stand piercings, earrings are okay, I guess, but they still get to me.
Just another flaw in how I see the world.
