You know, it's really unsuspecting to see such happy people have all of these closeted feelings. It's kind of sad too, because when they really need to let it out, they don't have anyone to go to, and I used to be one of those people. You just hold it in, and then you explode.
I remember exploding at my father, my mother, and some of my other family members, and even at school, or when I'm alone, it's a horrible feeling. I've learned a lot since then, but I do know that you'd be surprised at who's there for you and who isn't. It really shows what kind of person someone is, when you go to them for help.
I also remember that when I was at my mothers house throughout the years, I didn't have anything to do, and I didn't really have any friends, so I'd be stuck doing really boring things. She'd try to take me out to events and parties and galleries, but I'd either rebel or just get into fights or do nothing.
So in return, I had my own calming therapy, which was, believe it or not, eating pistachios. My escape from all of that frustration was to eat pistachios, and it really gave me something to do. Reflecting back on it, it really did help. Everyone has their weird things, and I've got a couple of them, and that was one.
I just discovered a bag of pistachios yesterday, and I started thinking about my past. Then I was looking at a bobby pin, and it reminded me about how screwed up life is. The bottom side is completely straight, because you're born with not knowing anything, and you keep going till you hit the corner.
Then you turn around completely, and it's a really bumpy ride with ups and downs. You keep going, and you get right back to where you were in the beginning, not knowing anything, or what to do with yourself.
It's a horrible way to think, but I think I'll eat some pistachios now.
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