The Eyes Of A Spectator

Realizing that this is my first official movie review ever, don't harass me. If you try to, I won't let you anyway. This review will give away spoilers, so don't read if you don't want to.

Review of "You Don't Mess With The Zohan".

Plot Summary.

Before I start the review, I'll basically speak about the movie, and what it is about, for those of you who haven't seen it, and want to know more about it. It's basically a movie where Adam Sandler portrays this odd character Zohan, from Israel. For some reason he speaks remarkably good English, even though his accent gets in the way a little bit. He also many other good things, such as, everything. He is basically a god, and cannot be touched. He decides to go over the slightly gay side, and become a hair designer, and make your hair, silky smooth. He's also a counter-terrorist, but he wanted to get away, so he feigned his own death, and went to America in search of enlightening his career. His parents hate the idea, but he does it anyway. He hooks up with his Israeli brotherhood, right across the Pakistanis, and they always fight. Then he gets his shot, and earns his designer stance in a shop, working with a really hot Emmanuelle Chriqui, playing Dalia. While working there, he pretty much, well, "pleases" every single one of his patients. Later he falls in love with the girl, who turns out to be the sister of "The Phantom". Another god-like character who pretty much gets everything he wants. That's basically the plot outline.

The Good.

I'm not much of an Adam Sandler fan, but he has made some decent movies, and one of my favorite movies of all time, being Punch Drunk Love, and one good movie Reign Over Me. If you've seen those movies, you probably know that he can be a somewhat "serious" actor. Comedy isn't really his great part of acting, but he does a lot of it, and a lot of people like it. In this movie, the comedy was kind of meshed in with the seriousness, make it a lot more funnier than it was put out to be, like Harold And Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, but not that funny. The good thing about the comedy is that, because of the stories suckiness and really bad detail, the comedy outdid it, and managed to make it an okay movie. All in all, the comedy part was great. I can't really think of anything else about the movie that was that good.

The Bad.

There were many times I thought to myself, what a horrible plot line. It's just very bad. I mean think about it. An Israeli counter-terrorist who wants to become a hair designer. I don't think so. It's just one of those movies were you can't really put yourself in that situation, because it would never happen. Next is the effects or whatever it is, that was used. They absolutely give Zohan the complete meaning of utter coolness and godliness. He literally cannot be touched in this horrible characterization. He swims apparently faster than a speed boat, can run at the speed of a speed boat, and can take down bullets when they are fired. Not to mention his genitalia is impenetrable by a piranha who's on crack and steroids. He's also great at cooking, screwing, fixing anything, beating anything, and doing any other thing you could name, including hair designing. Seriously, of all the things you could do, if you were that good, why a hair designer, why?

My Overall Thoughts.

I probably would not get this movie on DVD, but would still go see it with racially comically inclined friends, preferably Jews from Israel. It's a good laugh, but you realize it's not a very good movie towards the end.

My Rating.

I give this awful script a 6/10, and I gave it 1 point up from 5, only because of the fact that I live in a town full of Israeli Jews.